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Archive for March, 2015

Callan…Coffee…Contemplation for the Week of March 30th

March 30, 2015 | No Comments »

Regrets? I’ve Had a Few

Now standing mid-point between youth and older age, I find my gaze equally inward, backward, and forward. And with greater perspective I am reminded that, in the end, I’ll more deeply regret those things I didn’t do than the mistakes I made. Most of the mistakes I’ve made, seen in retrospect, are now like dear friends; they taught me lessons I needed to learn as a man and as a leader. Didn’t want those lessons; but I needed them. Yet when I think of past opportunities I failed to grasp, out of fear, I see those with a deeper sense of regret. Risks, I think, are simply masks to unexpected opportunities and unimagined experiences. Risk is just a sense we are on unfamiliar terrain. Risk feels dangerous because it presents to us a very steep learning curve. But think of it; have you ever felt more alive or more motivated than when you were on a steep learning curve? Steep is good; it is the vitality of living and leading we should seek. The worst thing that can happen to a leader is to die inside at age 35, yet live to be 85.

Inner Compass

All great leaders develop an inner compass, but it takes time. Early in life, often until middle age, we gauge our worth and our value via external comparison. We measure ourselves against the Joneses; am I better than Joe? Am I smarter than John? Is my salary larger than Bill’s? As long as we remain other focused, we’ll remain mostly ineffective as leaders. Why? Because great leadership is built on self leadership. We simply cannot effectively resonate with others until we have mastered ourselves. A rich inner life, founded on inner authority, must come before influence of others. If we focus on self mastery, we become the masters of our own destiny. If we fail self mastery, then we hand our destiny to others. An inner compass is a personal code of conduct, bearing, and behavior. Armed with this inner compass, one will find a corresponding increase in positive influence with others. Life is never as good or bad as it seems; nor are we. But we should do everything we can, with regard to self mastery, to be the navigator of our own ship.

The Wrong Path

Much is written about the role of failure in leadership. I often reflect on failure as a truthful, though generally unwanted, element to growth. It is impossible to find any past great leader who wasn’t a failure at times. This observation teaches us that failure is a precursor to greater success. We must endure the crucible to burn away the limiting elements of our lesser self to then enable the emergence of our better self. In this way, failures are signposts on our journey. Failures avail to us, often with searing discomfort, exactly when we are on the wrong path. And once we realize we’re on the wrong path, the next step is to determine why. This takes honest self reflection. Why is the most important knowledge in getting us off the wrong path and onto a new path. In my life, my biggest breakthroughs came when I felt most stuck and most frustrated, because it was during these wasteland experiences that I was forced to look inward, and then to think differently. We must first think outside the box before we can live outside the box and grow.

A Toast to Camaraderie

My life has been enriched by camaraderie. The lads from my childhood neighborhood; sports teammates from the gridirons and hard courts; the soulful bonds of always faithful Marines. Each of these experiences where made special, were in fact peak experiences, because of bone-deep feelings of companionship. Camaraderie is a magical elixir, an extremely rare and precious commodity, which separates great from good, and elevates groups from average to champions. Camaraderie is not bestowed; it is earned, it is shared, and it is felt as a by-product of common purpose, deep meaning, and group sacrifice. These reminiscences remind me, and reconfirm to me, two key truths. First, camaraderie must be cultivated by intentional leaders. It won’t happen by chance. Second, camaraderie is an expression of the inner quality of the group. Camaraderie reveals we are only as good as the company we make, and the company we keep. Great companions make individuals better, and those better individuals make the group excel. So here’s a toast to camaraderie!

Climbing the Ladder

A common phrase describing career growth is “climbing the corporate ladder.” As a metaphor this works fine if one believes leadership growth is rung-by-rung. I don’t. Here’s why. First, leadership growth does not fit well into a lineal, rung-by-rung construct. Leadership growth is far more organic and circular; more like a labyrinth. Second, “Am I climbing the ladder?” is not a valid question for leaders to ask. Better questions to ask are: Why am I climbing and where am I heading? The only climb a leader should undertake is towards self mastery, self-discipline, and personal accountability. And the place where leaders should be moving is towards wisdom, significance, and succession. Ultimately, great leaders come to realize and embrace this truth: It is far better to be at the bottom of a labyrinth you need, than to be at the top of a ladder you don’t. The leadership labyrinth makes you, the corporate ladder breaks you.

Check back next Monday for a round up of this week’s social media shares. Or check us out on Facebook, Twitter, Google+, or Pinterest to see our posts every day!

Callan…Coffee…Contemplation for the Week of March 23rd

March 23, 2015 | No Comments »

The Busyness Illusion

Go on a walk-about in your office and pay particular attention to peoples’ work modes. Many are in a perpetual state of busyness; hammering out spreadsheets, completing timesheets, posting to account ledgers, running from meeting to meeting, or most worrisome: slinging out endless emails. These are well-intentioned people, some of whom even see themselves as leaders. But the problem is they correlate busyness with effectiveness. Their theory goes like this: If you are busy you must be getting a lot done. Ah….., not really.  We need to make two vital distinctions here. First, leadership is the art of human influence, measured in affect and effect, not activity. Second, real significance does not stem from activity; it comes from purposeful focus and mindful intention. Many of the busiest people I know are some of the least effective in terms of output. Yes, they move a lot of paper but they move few large stones of influence and they touch few hearts and minds. Output and effectiveness, not activity, are the true measures of leadership.

Watching Gandhi

The movie Gandhi aired on TV recently, and because I’ve long admired the man, I watched it again. Though I’d never try to distill someone as significant as Gandhi into a tidy list of take-aways, I do find myself constantly coming back to this question when I reflect on his life: What made him unique as a man and leader? I believe it was his willingness to answer his call and his courage to will this one thing: to be a great-souled person. More simply, he lived by a more demanding code than most. Let’s be honest; we all have the ability to live by a higher code and a more rigorous set of standards, but most of us lack the willingness to go down that path. Why? Because it is hard. A higher code of living requires enormous self-discipline and constant sacrifice. For most of us, heck…its just easier being average. But if we can learn to identify the tenets of exemplary character and guide our thoughts and actions by classic virtues, then we too can gradually break free from mediocrity. And if we do, we, like Gandhi, can begin to answer honor’s call.

Sustainable Leadership

Listening to a recent news roundtable, the term sustainable was bandied about describing a system designed to endure across a broad arc of time. Which got me thinking; isn’t this exactly what we seek to do in developing a leadership culture in our groups? We are seeking sustainable leadership, are we not? Most organizations, I fear, neither see leadership this way nor do they possess a paradigm in which leadership is fundamental to their ethos. As a result, they wrongly approach leadership as a bolt-on tactic: a workshop over here, a guest lecture over there. Hit or miss, once and done. What futility! To build sustainable leadership, which I define as a culture where leaders cultivate and produce other leaders, we must start by creating an organizational ethos whose cornerstone is, leadership. Leadership must not be seen as a bolt on, but as a bedrock. Leadership must not be viewed as an afterthought, but as a forethought. To create deep reservoirs of leadership talent we must create organizations built on, and animated by, leadership.

The Higher You Go, The Less You Know

Once upon a time there was a King who ascended to the crown early in life. During these nascent years,  when inexperienced, he sought regular counsel and diverse perspective. He needed these contrarian voices to flesh out his blind spots, and he welcomed them. As time went by and as his Kingdom grew, he became increasingly isolated from contrarian perspectives. His counsel gradually shrank to a small cadre of like-minded people, whose favorite refrain was “Yes, Sir” and whose only objective was to tell the King what he wanted to hear. It was only the court jester, through parable and story, who could pass to the King candid messages contrary to his world view. What the King had to finally admit, as must all who climb the ladder of power, was this: The higher you go, the less you know. So one day, tired of all the group think, the King formed a new cadre, a round table of courageous knights, centered on this core virtue: Embrace the truth. Truth, the King learned, not only sets you free, but truth is also the path to effective leadership.  But he kept the jester, just to keep things light!

Want to Have a Great Day?

One of the hard truths we must come to grips is this: Everything comes out of nothing. The moment you awake and make your way to the office, everything that will occur during that day comes out of nothing. Meaning: You can’t predict it or fully control it. So you might think; why even try to prepare; just show up and wing it. Here’s another way to think of it. Do you want to have a great day? Then start with a great mindset! Your mindset is one thing you can control. The greatest tool in a leader’s arsenal is his mindset, attitude, and paradigm. If we can develop the self-discipline to rise each day, carve out sacred time to center ourselves and get into the right mindset, then we arm ourselves with the best antidote for chaos and challenge. I like to think of this early morning centering as the leader’s golden hour; the crucial time to put ourselves into the right state of mind to positively and purposefully engage the day. If we wait until the workday has begun, the golden hour is lost and we’ll become prisoner to frenzy. So, you want to have a great day? Start with a great mindset!

Check back next Monday for a round up of this week’s social media shares. Or check us out on Facebook, Twitter, Google+, or Pinterest to see our posts every day!

Callan…Coffee…Contemplation for the Week of March 16th

March 16, 2015 | No Comments »

A Journey I Didn’t Even Know I Was Taking

Throughout my life I’ve left home a lot. Home, understood as our comfort zone, can be a comfortable place even if it limits us. In small, often subtle ways, we are all called to leave home, often aided by trusted friends, mentors, or just a good kick in the rear end. These mentors see our potential, and so they urge us to move, leave our comfort zones, and get onto the path of growth. For me, these times occurred when I had to leave the “glory days” of High School; the comfort of College and campus life; separate myself from friends every three years from military postings; and recently, saying farewell to a transformational 3-decade crucible as a US Marine. When I look back across this expanse of experience I see so many people, places, and events that were in fact mile markers on my path, and signposts crucial to a journey I didn’t even know I was taking. And the point of this reflection? Everything belongs, even the smallest things. Sometimes we have to leave home, to come home, to our better selves.

The Moral of the Story

I recently re-read Homer’s The Odyssey. Like re-heated stew, sometimes the second reading of epic stories reveals deeper insights after some simmering time. So I thought: What is the moral of the story? When I first read the book years ago I though the points of the story were the imbedded morals; quotes I could somehow condense, commit to a 3 X 5 card, and place on my desk. But now I realize the moral of the story is, well, the story itself. Think of it; what is the point of The Odyssey, or Hamlet, or The Iliad? Is the point to pluck some truth and then slip it into our pocket for future reference to guide our moral decisions? Don’t think so. The story itself is the point of the story. The point of epic stories like The Odyssey, understood correctly, is that they actually point to truths about ourselves. We are both the one being called to the slippery slope by the Sirens and the one lashing ourselves to the mast to protect our honor. As leaders, mythic Ithaca may be our destination, but the journey is our destiny.

Inside-Out

In pursuit of heroic leadership I constantly remind myself that attaining excellence, for the most part, is an inside-out affair. To cultivate external influence, we first need to develop a rich inner life, and equally, inner authority. We must first move inward before we can influence outward. And if we try to break this immutable law of self-mastery (for example, by trying superficial self-help gimmicks), true excellence will remain illusive. The hard truth is, we must first go inside the labyrinth, to its very center, and learn to navigate the maze ourselves. But if we remain true to this Hero path; if we accept the labyrinth as a necessary element of our growth and transformation, then we find ourselves breaking through barriers and moving across growth thresholds. We have to trust that crucibles of growth, though daunting, when endured with tenacity, are the necessary handmaidens of our destiny. And what do we gain when we accept this heroic paradigm? A new way of understanding leadership, and a new way of living it.

The Courage to Lead

Let’s be honest; it is easier to go through life not leading than leading. And like it or not; not everyone is called to be a great leader. Why? Because everyone is not equally endowed with the same basic building blocks of leadership. We do a disservice to ourselves when we make it appear as fact that, with a little study and a bit of application, yes—everyone can be a great leader. Not true. Here’s the real truth: Great leadership requires really, really rare and unusual qualities. Which means: great leaders are very rare. Yes, potential is dormant in all of us; the issue is whether or not we’ll heed the call to lead and whether or not we’ll harness the incredible conviction to tap our potential. Most do not, because great leadership requires a wholehearted commitment of heart and soul; an investment most find prohibitive. This is why I believe  courage is the cardinal virtue, because courage enables all other leadership virtues. Without the courage to live and lead by a higher code, we simply won’t have the fortitude to reach the high ground.  But if we do, oh my! This is when magic happens.

Put Yourself on Trial

Each day I do an hour of exercise. I use this time of exertion not simply to engage my body, but more so, to release my mind from the busyness of the day. During these times of solitude I find my mind wandering into playback mode; a time to recount my thoughts, actions, and behaviors from the past day. I like to think of this as a time of purposeful self-indictment where I put myself on trial. I force myself to look at my inner motives, intentions, and moods and work to bring fresh insight to my leadership lens. This is no feel-good gimmick; rather, this is hard, brutally honest reflection which, I would argue, is the necessary precursor to growth as a leader. I don’t always like what I see, but I find the more courageous I am in this endeavor, the more authentic I become as a man and the more resonant I become as a leader. So I commend this action to all: Put yourself on trial and avail yourself to regular sessions of purposeful self-indictment. For as classic wisdom teaches us, this is the only true path to “Know Thyself.”

Check back next Monday for a round up of this week’s social media shares. Or check us out on Facebook, Twitter, Google+, or Pinterest to see our posts every day!

Callan…Coffee…Contemplation for the Week of March 9th

March 9, 2015 | No Comments »

Right Now

One of the hardest qualities of leadership to master is the ability to recognize the importance of right now. Today, this very day, is the only day we can truly influence; yesterday is gone, tomorrow has yet to emerge. Right now is our reality but it is also an emergent gift we are given. Think of it this way:  All of your past days have been leading to this very moment, and similarly, all of your future days will proceed from this very moment. Therefore, right now is a vital crossroads; the confluence of all your past actions and all your future aspirations. Moreover, there will never be another day exactly like today. If we correctly lead through this prism of right now we see more clearly the need to seize the day. Great leaders rise each morning, much like Native American Plains Warriors of lore, saying: “Today is a good day to do great things.” We never know with absolute certainty what today’s leadership actions may bring; we just have to trust that real significance is borne by linking many great days in a row like pearls hung on a string. So we must lead with a positive sense of urgency right now because today will be gone before we know it.

From Many, One

Next to my condo is the San Diego Children’s Museum. On Saturday mornings children gather there to create arts and crafts. Recently, a group of children created pin wheels made of multi-colors and hues. As I watched them move the pin wheels through the air, the whirling affect caused the multiple colors to blend into a single color. And I thought: What a great metaphor for leading and creating ethos! When we begin  leading a group, the members are like the static pin wheel; many individual, disparate, and isolated elements. But as we begin to apply positive leadership and create unity, the wheel starts to turn faster and faster and gradually, the once individualized elements blend into one cohesive whole. Similarly, at the beginning, the demographic elements are segmented and isolated; younger versus older, experienced versus inexperienced. Once again, with positive leadership, the wheel starts to turn faster and the same blending affect occurs, where past, present, and future now align into a single arc of common experience.  It’s the leader’s sacred obligation to enable this shared intentionality. From many, one.

The Illusion of Our Times

On many levels, life in modern society is getting easier. Think of how effortless it is today to get instant information like driving directions, music, analytical research, the weather. Literally with a tap of a key a world of instantaneous information is available to anyone, anywhere. That this is a technological marvel is without question; however, viewed from the prism of leadership, which is the domain of effectiveness not efficiency, I grow concerned about our insatiable demand for instant gratification–the illusion of our times. Leadership is a master craft and will always defy instant gratification. We will never evolve technologically to the point were one can download, like a killer app, the secrets of leadership. There are simply no shortcuts to leadership mastery, any more than the ancient Japanese Tea Ceremony could be reduced to a 5 x 8 card, taught in a one day class, and still produce classic tea masters. Sorry, but excellence of any form will always take a lifetime, and even then, we still don’t fully get there.

Predisposition

The most oft-asked question about leadership is, can everyone be a great leader? The truthful answer is, no. However, a more important question is, can everyone become a better leader? Yes, but only if one is predisposed to wanting to. Having a predisposition to lead is akin to seeing oneself as a leader and seeing the world as a leader sees it. This predisposition to lead is a mindset essential to better leadership. Here’s the brutal truth we must face: No amount of teaching will convince a person to lead unless one’s predisposition to be convinced is stronger than one’s predisposition not to be. For anyone not predisposed to leadership, no amount of facts or statistics will convince them of the existence of great leadership. Which leads to this related question: How do we create in people this predisposition for leading? By experiencing leadership! No form of excellence can be fully explained; it can only be experienced. Only when we experience leadership, much like experiencing the joy of travel or the soulfulness of  camaraderie, do we open ourselves to the call and the door finally opens.

Improvement

The life-long path to leadership mastery is strewn with many twists and turns and triumphs and defeats. So, how do we know if, or when, we are improving? How do we know we are getting it, and getting there? I don’t think there’s a precise metric, per se, but here are a few subtle clues. We are improving when:

• We find ourselves being better men and woman than we are;
• We act wiser than we know;
• We summon courage we never knew we had;
• We offer compassion when before we struck a blow;
• We are graceful in the face of adversity;
• We realize the gold we’ve gained is valuable only if given away.

Check back next Monday for a round up of this week’s social media shares. Or check us out on Facebook, Twitter, Google+, or Pinterest to see our posts every day!

Callan…Coffee…Contemplation for the Week of March 2nd

March 2, 2015 | No Comments »

Under Your Skin

In the past, I’ve stated–leadership is more caught than taught. I heard this phrase years ago concerning other forms of master craft, and I believe it is especially true about leadership. We only begin to learn leadership when we hear the call to lead, and we open to a life of leading only when we yearn to lead. We catch leadership when we, the student, are open and ready to receive the lesson. In this way, leadership, much like music and poetry, affects us under the surface. Leadership is a subcutaneous art; it has to get under your skin to move you, to resonate deeply, and to pull you forward along a life-long path of development. I believe leadership is mostly felt in the heart and soul, not in the head. Once the call to lead moves under the skin and becomes part of us then, and only then, does it begin to become real to us. Only when its affect becomes subcutaneous does who we are as a people begin to align with what we project as leaders. Leadership must get under your skin.

Once Upon a Time

I teach leadership mostly through stories because stories are the best way to learn deep truths. So, what is the teaching power of stories? First, stories have great capacity to both possess and liberate; they possess us because they are compelling and they liberate us because they uncover a long forgotten insight. Second, a good story engages all our “knowing levels”– psychological, physical, social, emotional, spiritual. Think of any great story you have heard many times before and ask yourself why, after hearing it over and over, you still listen to it to very end, even though you know the outcome. The story’s moral is what captivates us. Third, great stories put the listener in the unique learning posture of having to ask: Are the story’s morals and maxims true? More importantly, are they true to me? A great story reveals this penetrating truth: The story is really about us, and the story points to clues about our own lives. Once upon a time, understood correctly, is actually our time, today.

Things Not Seen

The longer I live the clearer I see the role of chance, luck, and invisible helping-hands in my life. In my past, as events happened, these elements were mostly unseen. I suppose they were not seen because early in life, with my gaze set sternly towards the horizon and my ego mostly in control, I tended to credit events to, well, myself. We all tend to think we make it on our own through sheer will and determination. And no doubt; willpower is vital. However, as we grow as leaders and become more discerning we begin to see the role of hidden gifts in our lives. When I look back at all the people impacting my life I see clearly the unseen givers who provided gifts of friendship, mentorship, camaraderie, and companionship. These hidden gifts, these things not seen, were fundamental to my growth, maturation, and texture as a man and as a leader.  So I am constantly reminding myself of this truth: Things not seen fully today, or a stroke of blind luck tomorrow, may in the future be the very things that make all the difference.

Whose Business Is It?

In today’s workplace there’s a growing tendency to see leadership, and the actions of devoted leaders, as somehow prying into other people’s lives. I sometimes see people react negatively to genuine acts of mentorship by saying or implying, “stay out of my business.” To which I can only say this: There is no such thing as your own business when it comes to leading. Through whatever sad means, our society has become a fundamentally confused and highly offended lot. We confuse positive engagement with prying; we confuse purposeful stewardship with meddling; we confuse dedicated coaching with violating one’s rights. Have we really become this thin skinned and victimized? Would a devoted parent ever say their child’s life is not their business? Surely not a good parent. Likewise, a great leader should never say the lives of his people are not his business. For heroic leaders, there’s no such thing as your own business.

Are We There Yet?

My sister recently sent me an old photo of our family packed into a 1970’s era station wagon driving from Boston down to Cape Cod. As I looked at the photo I tried to imagine what was being said in that car, but more than likely, it was something like, “Are we there yet?” This reminiscence made me think of our journey as leaders. We start early, pack our bags and leave home, and travel to a distant destination. As we move along the road we experience many sights, sounds, and changing geography. We speed up and slow down, stop for fuel, change the tires maybe. And at each juncture of the journey we ask ourselves: Are we there yet? Though we’ve come a long way, somehow we don’t feel as if we’ve yet arrived. So we re-enter the journey and press on ahead. And the moral of this little story? In the pursuit of excellence, we become keenly aware that the miles we still have to travel are much greater than the miles we’ve already covered.

Check back next Monday for a round up of this week’s social media shares. Or check us out on Facebook, Twitter, Google+, or Pinterest to see our posts every day!