Callan…Coffee…Contemplation for the Week of June 16th
Rituals and Rites
As I reflect on our society today it seems we’ve somewhat lost our understanding of, and respect for, healthy rituals and rites of passage. It appears these primal human foundations, once central to living and leading, have been shoved from the center to the circumference of our lives and our groups. As a man whose life was deeply influenced by healthy rituals (US Marines), I think a re-awakening of rituals in our groups would do us much good. Why? Because as we move through life and progress as leaders, we need to be reminded of necessary threshold crossings that distinguish our former (lesser) selves from our renewed (better) selves. For example, as Marines, our growth was guided by, and signified through, clear and honest rites and rituals. These symbolic events reminded us that our old skin was being shed and a new one emerging. When we move across thresholds we need the wise guidance of mentors and elders, and the teachable space created in healthy rituals, to ensure the messages we need most to hear are in fact seen, remembered, and allowed to convert us.
Turning Around
When I contemplate how leaders grow, I think there is a common misperception that leadership growth is linear and direct. What I believe actually happens is not this straight line movement, but rather, a constant turning around throughout one’s life. On the one hand, one turns away from a lesser self, and on the other, turns toward a better self. As such I believe true leadership development is more like an upward spiral than a straight line. The Greek word for such conversion is metanoia—which literally means “turning beyond the mind.” When I reflect on heroic leaders from the past—Lincoln, Churchill, Gandhi, and King for example–I clearly see this pattern of turning around; moving constantly from a former limiting mind(set) to a more noble and heroic one. And though we tend to domesticate our heroes and tell their stories as if they were linear paths, an honest biography of each illustrates how they had to turn around, convert themselves, and constantly move to more elevated forms of living and leading. We should remember this truth as we pursue our own leadership journeys.
Gifts and Blind Spots
As I reflect on my life I see some fundamental development truths that appear common to everyone’s journey. For example, our capacity to possess natural strengths and gifts, while at the same time, possess troubling blind spots and shadows. I am not sure we ever fully correct the blind spots and shadows. Instead, if we are wise and discerning, we learn to befriend the blind spots and incorporate the lessons our flaws can teach us. This is how we become self aware and the source of real wisdom. And, as I’ve mentioned before, I cannot think of a single great leader, someone of profound and enduring significance, who was not a mysterious blend of rare gifts and deep human frailty. What separates these great figures from others was their ability to know their shadows and weaknesses and move into wisdom in the second half of their lives. Consider this: As we move from the first half to the second half of life, the very things we called strengths in our early years can turn out to be faults later if we don’t transform ourselves as people and leaders.
Off Balance
Why is it that our greatest breakthroughs as people and leaders come, paradoxically, not when we are in balance, but often–when we are off balance? Here’s my thoughts. When we are in our comfort zones, a kind of automatic-pilot existence, we become tone-deaf to larger movements in the climate of our lives and work. Then, when we get knocked off balance through some kind of failure or unexpected adversity, our comfort zone is suddenly shattered and our prior support structures vanish. At first, we think this discomfort is debilitating and defeating, but if understood correctly, this feeling of being off balance is usually the time when we awaken to deeper thoughts and necessary changes. This has been so true in my life. I like to think of these off-balance moments as the great teachable spaces in our journey as leaders. It is in the times when our comfort zones are shaken we often find ourselves fully open to change. We may not wish to be off-balance, but interestingly, it is in off-balance moments, in this threshold space, where our greatest teachers reside. So, we must learn to live (and learn) off balance.
The Perpetual Recycler
Here’s an observation: Doesn’t it seem like the most crucial lessons of life and leadership, if not initially learned and mastered, simply keep reappearing in our path over and over? When I look at myself, I see how often leadership experiences constantly recycle back to me those things I need most to learn. Leadership, like life itself, is a perpetual recycler; we will constantly see the same barriers in our path until we learn to finally see, and then internalize, their lessons and their wisdom. When we find ourselves in such a repetitive pattern, this recycling action is a clear sign we have real leadership (and character) blind spots. Just like a person driving a car down a busy highway, blind spots prevent us from seeing truths and facts that are, actually, right there in plain sight. Yet somehow, our lack of awareness prevents us from detecting them. This is why self awareness, reflection, and self control are so vital to heroic leadership. Self awareness is the only means with which to see our blind spots, learn our tendencies, and then let the great recycler finally and fully educate us.
Check back next Monday for a round up of this week’s social media shares. Or check us out on Facebook,Twitter, Google+, or Pinterest to see our posts every day!
Tweet Share