Callan…Coffee…Contemplation for the Week of April 6th
Breaking The Bonds That Limit Us
Unfortunately for many, work is just a slog; a mind numbing, soul crushing sameness. But it doesn’t need be. If leaders can somehow tap into meaning and purpose, then bonds can be breached and new heights reached. It is a leader’s cardinal obligation to find in the work, even in the labor, a higher aim and a deeper calling, and then to explain these things to people to inspire them to reach beyond the banalities of work. Here’s what I have found in my life: When I am bound up in some great enterprise, or great purpose, even a truly extraordinary undertaking, my aspirations break their former bonds and my heart soars. This is precisely what happened to me during my nearly 30-year journey as a US Marine. One moment, before OCS, I was stuck in a slog. Once I endured the crucible of a place called Quantico and touched deep meaning, my soul was freed to transcend limitations, embrace peak experiences, and celebrate the timeless virtues of excellence. Great leaders and great organizations, through uplifting vision and deep meaning, help us break the bonds that once limited us and take us to places our souls want to go.
Hardwired
The longer I live, the more convinced I am that we are simply hardwired for certain things. Here are a few. First, we are hardwired for camaraderie. I don’t care how technologically advanced we get, we will always crave, in the deepest reservoirs of our being, the kind of soulful bonding that comes from brothers and sisters who strive, shoulder-to-shoulder, in common purpose. Second, I believe we are hardwired for empathy. Empathy is the intuitive understanding of “the other,” or of the group. Empathy is like mortar holding individual bricks together in a sturdy wall. Many believe modern society is ridding us of this sense of, and value for, empathy. I say nonsense. Leaders simply must create the conditions, and cultivate the opportunities, for our natural empathetic senses to be activated. Finally, I believe we are hardwired for teamwork. Yes, we can fall prey to selfishness and self interest, but I believe we have a deeper desire for group achievement and unity of effort. Contemplate this question: What feels more deeply satisfying, climbing a steep mountain alone or climbing it with a group of friends? If we are honest, it is the latter.
Passion
Passion is a term often linked to excellence. So, what is passion? And is it really crucial to great leadership? Passion is a feeling; a deep wellspring of almost primal enthusiasm for something. Once felt, passion becomes something deeply foundational to one’s core. So a leader must ask: What am I passionate about? When we feel passionate about excellence, and passionate about leading, the pursuit of these things becomes something we cannot not do. We are compelled to pursuit. So why is passion a vital precursor to great leadership? Because passion leads to self mastery. As I’ve noted before: A leader cannot inspire others unless, and until, they themselves are inspired. Moreover, passion is contagious. A leader imbued with great vitality energizes those whom he leads. If one wants to be a great leader, then one must first see leading as something intensely meaningful and truly core to one’s identity. Leadership must be profoundly meaningful to you, not simply a passing fancy or an occasional tactic. So, does leadership and excellence make your soul sing? Then you have a passion for life and leading.
Mental Toxins
When I work out each day, sweating and churning through my routine, I can almost feel the bodily toxins leaving my system. Which made me think: what about mental toxins; do they build up in our mind and should we find ways to eradicate them from our leadership lens? Mental toxins, things like anger, jealousy, bitterness, and pettiness, surely do accumulate during the course of time. These toxins slowly corrode our attitude, stifle our optimism, and lessen our vitality. Over time, mental toxins destroy our ability to resonate with others and generate positive affect. So, yes; the accumulation of mental toxins can destroy a leader and can deteriorate a leader’s affect. Therefore, we must find ways to rid ourselves of these mental toxins. And the first step? Becoming self-aware of their existence within us, and more so, their control over us. Once self aware, we must then find mechanisms to regulate and flush them from our minds. Great leadership, in my view, ultimately is more about letting go then getting more. And one of the key things great leaders learn to let go of, are, mental toxins.
The Final Frontier
When we come to the end of our journey as leaders, what is the purpose of our travels? What is final frontier? I think the promised land of leadership is wisdom. I like to think of wisdom as a state of being in which we are still animated with great passion and determination for life, but now, we are stripped of all the former ego-baggage once limiting us. But there is a gate leaders must pass through to get to wisdom, and over this gate is written the word, humility. Some will pass through this gate, many will not. The wisest leaders I have met, those with a true trans-partisan view and a generative spirit, seem to me to be people of great humility and fully open to grace. Wise leaders seem to know this about life: Everything belongs, and everything matters. Some people I know rise to great rank or status, yet they never become wise. They simply can’t push down their egos enough to fit through humility’s narrow gate. A wise leader can laugh at himself, his failures and foibles, and still resonate excellence. An ego-based leader cannot let go of his ego, and therefore, exudes mostly toxins. One passed through the gate, the other turned away.
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