Callan…Coffee…Contemplation for the Week of August 25th
Camaraderie
I am often asked, “What is the single most important measure of excellence in a company or group?” For me the answer is camaraderie. Camaraderie reflects the depth of genuine companionship within the group; the almost DNA-level bonding of brothers and sisters locked shoulder-to-shoulder in common purpose. Camaraderie, and its close relative esprit de corps, are extremely hard to produce in groups and even harder to sustain, which further attests to their supreme importance for excellence. Among our most important leadership obligations, therefore, is to create the ethos, culture, and climate producing camaraderie. This work is deeply soulful, not intellectual. This is the realm of a threshold crossing, which begins with shallow work-place familiarity and then converts, through shared sacrifice, elevated standards, and masterful leadership, into a deep wellspring of fraternal love and unyielding trust. The measure of camaraderie in a group is the pinnacle metric, and it reminds us, interestingly, that the words “company” and “companion” share the same root, which we should never forget.
Small Things
One of the psychological hurdles young leaders must overcome is their belief they are not truly leading until they have achieved high rank or position. They believe they are not really able to create influence until they can do something great on a grand stage. I call this “someday” leadership: Someday, when I have higher authority, then I will do something grand! We need to deconstruct this limiting paradigm and teach young leaders a more fundamental and elevating truth, which is this: We are always leading, because we always exert influence when we walk into a room and interact with people. Once we accept this cardinal truth, “someday” leadership transforms into “this day” leadership. To remind myself of this truth I keep on my desk this powerful quote attributed to Native American warriors: “Today is a good day to do great things.” The reality is, yes; most of us will not be called to the global stage and be asked to lead in the national spotlight. Most of us will not be famous leaders. However, we can all do small things, each day, with great commitment, passion, and fidelity. In the end, this makes all the difference.
Negative Energy
A key element of self-mastery is the ability for leaders to be confronted with negative energy but not be lured into it. And let’s face it—that’s not easy. All energy, particularly negative energy, is highly imperialistic. If we are not self aware, negative energy will seize us and pull us in destructive pathways. For example, reflect on how easy it is to be initially exposed to forms of negative energy like grievance, entitlement, bickering, cynicism, spite, and pettiness, and if not initially contained, to be pulled fully into the widening gyre of that toxic energy. What this seems to tell us is, when we attack negative energy frontally, we become that energy ourselves. It co-opts us. We become the very thing we dislike. What is the better way for leaders? Through self discipline and self-control, learn to recognize when we are getting lured by the siren’s call of negative energy, be conscious of it, and then, choose not to fight it frontally. Instead, be the better example and let your example radiate as an alternative choice. The best correction of the bad? The modeling of the better!
Great Stories
When I was young I was drawn to hero tales and epic stories. Even today, these legends still call to me and I am compelled by their deeper meaning. I believe there is a vital lesson in the study of legend, lore, history, myth, and hero tales because they remind us of the greater patterns, the larger truths, animating the human condition. We need great stories to remind us of the broad arc of which we are still a part; that grand parade of history that informs us, coheres our experiences, and reminds us of timeless truths. Today, with the dominance of technology and its pull to only a present-tense reality, leaders must teach great stories to the younger generation. Without this broad perspective, young people run the risk of remaining prisoner to their own private, limited worlds. Moreover, a present-tense reality can be awfully brittle, fragile, and shallow. Without the great stories, youth will think present happiness, instead of deep meaning, is the end state of living. It is a leader’s obligation to pull people out of their heads and into their hearts, and we do this by teaching the greater patterns of excellence and heroic ambition.
Caught, Not Taught
As I reflect on how I’ve learned as a leader, the many twists and turns, successes and failures, I realize most of what I can honestly say I have internalized, I did so from experience, not book learning. Most of the deeper lessons, the things I have made part of my interior life, were more caught than taught. It may sound too simple to say it this way, but it is true, at least in my experience. Great truths that we internalize actually “rub off” from others we are exposed to; great teachers, dedicated mentors, significant role models. I can honestly say that I have not internalized any great breakthroughs in leading by studying lists or memorizing menus. It was only experiences, and deep exposure to principles in action, that ultimately converted me. So yes, masterful leadership is more caught than taught. But what’s the lesson in this for us all? To get on the path and move forward. It is only through the crucible of experience, and the good fortune to be exposed to wise teachers and mentors, that the necessary lessons will “rub off” and become authentic to who we are as leaders.
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